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Au Pairs & Boyfriends

Mistake #4:  Matching with an Au Pair that has a Serious Boyfriend!


Couple Walking

Many au pairs sign up for the program even though are in a committed relationship with a boyfriend. They both think they can be apart for 12 months, but eventually, the couple starts to miss each other. They may spend a lot of time and money calling and emailing each other multiple times a day.  The boyfriend may start to tell your au pair she made a mistake – and if he “wins” the day, you lose big time because your au pair very will break the match and return home to him! 

If she doesn’t go home, and tries to stick out the long 12 months, she may end up miserable and unhappy. In that case, your lovesick au pair’s concentration may be impaired. When this happens, your children may be placed at considerable risk. Either way, you will lose money, time and peace of mind if you match with a girl who has a serious boyfriend waiting for her back home.  Ask her nicely during the interview “Do you have a boyfriend?”  If she says yes, our advice is to pass on her, even if she seems terrific. We have seen many good matches break over the “boyfriend” issue. 

Tip: Agents and au pairs are becoming aware that experienced host families do not match with girls who are involved with a boyfriend at home.   The au pairs are advised to deny they have a boyfriend if the host parents inquiry, but there is a way around this.  It sounds a little sneaky, but it works.  If after the au pair says “no” to the question “Do you have a boyfriend” drop it and come back to it again, unexpectedly.  Later, in the conversation, ask, “What does your boyfriend think about that?”  Usually, caught off guard and if the girl is honest and not used to fabricating stories, she will answer in the affirmative “Well, my boyfriend thinks …

This tip is from our popular articles, 10 Mistakes to Avoid when Matching with an Au Pair

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Blog | by Dr. Radut