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Let's Talk Au Pairs!We Help you Find the Right Au Pair from the Best Au Pair AgenciesThere is so much to learn before you host an au pair. What is an au pair and how is an au pair different from a nanny? What are the au pair's expectations when she joins the program? What countries do the best au pairs come from? What should I know about cultural differences? How do I best interview an au pair? Will my au pair speak English? Do au pairs drive? How do I avoid costly mistakes when choosing an au pair? What happens if I don't like my au pair once she arrives? We provide the best consumer information for host parents to answer these au pair questions, and more, so you can make the best childcare decision for your family. Our customer satisfaction surveys rates and reviews all au pair agencies in the United States. We report on the best agencies and which au pair agencies to avoid! We review the many countries au pairs are recruited from and report on cultural differences; male au pairs; special needs au pairs and more. We have articles on advice and tips about au pairing - and how to avoid costly mistakes before you sign a contract. Our mission is to ensure you have the best consumer information on the au pair industry so you can make the very best au pair decision for your children and family. ArticlesWhat Is An Au Pair? What Is An Au Pair?Au Pair, from the French on par means "equal" to indicate that the young woman living with a family and taking care of the children is on par or equal in status with the rest of the family. In other words, au pairs tend to be regarded as part of the family, like an older daughter, whose main responsibility is taking care of the children and chores related to the children. Au pairs originated in Europe when upper "crust" or wealthy families wanted "help" with their young children, but desired a more relaxed and fun approach to childcare, compared to the older and often times more reserved "nanny" they experienced as a child. What An Au Pair Is Not!In keeping with the definition of what an Au Pair is, (What is an Au Pair?), please keep in mind the girl you hire from abroad is not an employee and should not be treated like one. So, you ask - what can she actually do? Her duties can include very helpful family chores: preparing meals for the children - and cleaning the meal prep up; making the children's beds; doing the children's laundry; picking up after the children; driving them to school, play dates, sporting events, lessons, errands, etc. She is also expected to keep her room and her bathroom clean and tidy and to do her own laundry. Can Boys be Au Pairs Too?Although the role of au pair has always traditionally been that of a girl, it is becoming And why not? While it is understandable why some families, particularly those with daughters, might still prefer a female au pair, actually there are some huge advantages to choosing a boy which are often over-looked. Top 10 Mistakes Host Parents Make When Choosing an Au PairA frustrating fact for host parents is that all the agencies tell you the same thing about their programs: it is safe, cost effective and they screen all au pairs carefully (with both a criminal background check and psychological testing). The au pairs are described as drivers, with proficient English and excellent childcare skills. What the agencies don’t tell you is that au pairs can and do slip through the screening process. You have to carefully review all applications yourself and interview each au pair thoroughly – you make the ultimate decision when matching with an au pair! Is your Au Pair Experiencing Culture Shock or Depression?
Culture Shock is a phenomenon that occurs when a foreigner enters a new culture and experiences unpleasant adjustment symptoms that can range from problems sleeping, mental fatigue, a delay or refusal to speak the new culture’s language, a desire to return home and feelings of hopelessness. Au pairs experience culture shock in varying degrees when they arrive. Most of them adjust quickly and are excited to meet the challenges of her new culture and all that is has to offer. A significant number of au pairs never adjust and they usually return home soon after their arrival due to a number of reasons. Touchy Situations - Your Au Pair is Young, Gorgeous and Blond
"I hired a very pretty, blond German au pair and she has been with us about 3 months. She is tall, slim and, well, gorgeous even without make-up at 6:30 am in the morning! Maria is fantastic with the kids who love her and even my grumpy husband (who was against having a live-in) lights up when she walks into a room. She has always been professional in her behavior towards me and my husband (there is no flirting or fooling around at all) but I feel old around her. I am only 39, I play tennis to stay in shape, but I can't help feeling middle-aged when I am in her presence. It is not the au pair who has the problem, its me - old and frumpy from CT." The Problem Au Pair
Once your new au pair arrives and settles in (or not), you may find issues with her driving, English or maturity. You may question her true reasons for coming to America, one of which is not caring for children all day! Or, you and she simply do not get along - there is a personality mismatch. She may be great, but your personalities clash. She is quiet, shy and prefers to read while listening to piano sonatas while your three rough and tumble (but adorable boys) are outside playing touch football! You like things done quickly and with efficiency. Your au pair prefers to poke along and after 3 weeks, you come home from work and still find toast crumbs on the table. Or you find her simply dreadful, and you feel annoyed by countless little things, from her stringy, dirty hair and pungent body odor, to her poor attitude and that damn broken side mirror dangling on the car (yes, she was told not to back out of the garage, but she did anyway). She stays out late during the week, is often sleepy and yawning when she comes downstairs in the morning to get the kids and she drives insists on driving them to school in her pajamas. Whatever the problem is, you may decide you cannot put up with her for 12 months. What is a host mom to do? Au Pairs and Not Nannies?There are a number of differences between an au pair and a nanny that you should be aware of before making a decision either way but here we discuss the advantages of an au pair over a nanny. Benefits of an Au Pair over a Nanny: Training: Au pairs that are recruited from U.S.A. government sanctioned programs are required to be trained in CPR, first aid, child development and to show documented proof of childcare experience by a third party. Nanny training varies greatly today. The term "nanny" used to refer to a woman who was professionally trained in all aspects of childcare and whose skills were highly valued and sought after. Nowadays, anyone can call themselves a "nanny" and their training can be very inconstistent from agency to agency. Usually they are older women without any other occupational training except babysitting. The Overlap
What is an Overlap? This is when your present au pair is still in your home and you have the new au pair arrive, so their time together will 'overlap' from a few days to a few weeks or so. Many host parents plan on this so their experienced au pair can 'train' the new au pair and get her settled in. This is very helpful if you are very busy and cannot take off a few days to do the orientation yourself. This can work out quite well if your present au pair is mature and understands why you are doing this. However, we have seen even the most mature and pleasant au pairs sink into a funk once the new au pair arrives on the scene. Then, you can have trouble! Here are our Top Five reasons not to overlap au pairs. Do's and Don'ts When Hosting An Au PairYou spent a lot of money and time interviewing and matching with the "perfect" au pair for your family. She is arriving in a few weeks and you think you are now "off the hook" and can relax! Not so fast! Before you retire your vigilance, read the following list of Do's and Don'ts when hiring an au pair and take that extra time to make sure your au pair is off to a good start. Even if you consider yourself a seasoned host parent, you may find a thing or two of value in our list that you may not have considered before! U.S. Government May Raise Age Limit Au PairsThe State Department is considering raising the age limit on au pairs from 26 to 30. This new statue, combined with the 2007 law that allows au pairs to stay an additional year (from 12 months to 24 months) could expand the pool of au pairs by 40%. This new age limit may be good news for host parents. However, it is important to consider both sides of the new law that may go into effect in the next year(pros and cons): Language Differences - What's In a Name?
Au pairs arriving in America are dealing with cultural differences and, yes, language differences! Their primary reason for joining the cultural exchange program is to improve their English. As your au pair struggles with her English, be patient and support her efforts. Your au pair may find her English is not as good as she thought and she may be upset about this, even embarrassed! Encourage her when she tries to pronounce words and finds new words she has not encountered before. Nanny Cam - Right or Wrong?We have all heard stories of childcare workers abusing young children they were hired to care for. Perhaps you have given some thought to this and considered a "nanny cam" yourself. Working parents worry about their children and particulary their babies, who cannot tell them they are mistreated by their au pair. After all, your new au pair is a stranger, from a foreign country, young and perhaps inexperienced! Do you have the right to install a nanny cam and record her during the day? What are your rights, as parents? What privacy rights does your au pair have not to be recorded without her knowledge and approval? Top 10 Safe Driving Tips for Au Pairs1. Speeding: Always observe the posted speed limits! If you are from Germany, you may have a "heavy foot" meaning you are accustomed to driving fast. Don’t speed! Speeding tickets are very expensive and your host parents will be upset because their insurance rates may go up if you get a ticket. You are responsible for speeding tickets, and fines can be between $100-$400 and more, depending on how fast you were going. 2. Passing: Do not ever pass another car, no matter how slow they are traveling. Most towns in America have much more traffic on their roads compared to even 15 years ago and passing is dangerous. 3. School Buses: Never, never pass a yellow school bus when it is stopped and flashing its yellow or red lights! This is the law in 50 states to protect school children who are getting off the bus and crossing the road. If you break this law, you endanger children’s lives and can get arrested, lose your license and end up paying a very steep fine. 5 Tips for Welcoming your Au Pairby Christine Harrell Choosing an au pair is a huge decision for any family. Introducing her into an already established family routine may seem a bit awkward at first. However, there are a few things that a family can do ahead of time to make an au pair’s transition easier for everyone. Stay At Home Moms and Au PairsStay at Home Moms and au pairs can and do work well together. However, a stay at home mom has to understand the psychology behind what makes this unique relationship work well. Most au pairs are expecting a certain kind of situation and family when they sign up for the cultural exchange program. They expect two parents who work outside of the home. They expect to be in charge of the house and children during those hours and they are typically independent, responsible and mature enough to make good decisions during that time. What kind of personality would make an ideal "mother's helper" for a Stay at Home Mom?" We answer this question for you here in this article.... Education Requirements for your Au PairAll au pairs registered with a legal au pair agency are required, by USA Dept. of State law, to take college/university courses while they are with their host families. They typically "audit" courses and do not receive matriculating credits (i.e., they cannot be transferred to a college back home). Sometimes host families discourage their au pair from taking courses - you should not! They not only have to take these courses, they often look forward to them and having these college courses listed on their resume. |
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more and more common for boys to also want to stay in the UK and work as an au pair.
